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BOWLER’S DELIVERY: To OBE or not to OBE, that is the question

30 December 2015

Arise, Sir Bomber

IT’S the time of year when HM the Q has been busying herself with scribbling an Honour’s List on the back of one of Philip’s old prescriptions and it seems likely that once again, the Monarch has failed to do her duty by her subjects by omitting the name of Tony Brown from said list. 

This week’s Albion 8 makes it clear that far too few of the Albion’s great and good have made it to Buck House to pick up a gong over the years. 

How can it be that The Great Ray Barlow, to give him his full title, was never made the Duke of Smethwick for instance?

Can Derek Statham’s peerage – Lord Statham of the Rainbow – still be lost in the post after all these years?

Surely life at the Palace would have been enlivened by bestowing an OBE on Willie Johnston with all the pomp, circumstance and packets of fags which that would have required?

Why wasn’t Darren Fletcher instantly given a baronetcy – apparently there is such a thing, I didn’t make it up – after knocking in the winner against Newcastle?

And why hasn’t Sir Robert Hope been officially recognised by Her Maj with the proper laying on of the sword, followed by ceremonial tea and biscuits?

But no. The Royals have continued to ignore the importance of the beautiful game and, we must conclude, are entirely clueless about the national sport. How else to explain that the Duke of Cambridge is a Villa fan?

Sadly, such lack of awareness of the central part that football plays within the nation’s life means that Tony Brown is yet to receive the knighthood which, let’s be honest, is the least he’s due. 

So dear Queen, one final entreaty before the list gets leaked to the Daily Mail.

720 games.

279 goals.

2 cup wins.

That goal at Oldham.

Countless hours spent devoted to the Albion Foundation and the local community at large.

15 years as a columnist for Albion News.

If the last bit alone is not worth an OBE and having one of those small Commonwealth islands that we’ve largely forgotten about renamed after the great man, then frankly, the time has come to close down the Honours List altogether hasn’t it?

Or could it be that no recognition can be given to a man who has given yeoman, but secret service of his country? 

Think on. Is Tony Brown actually 004 – licenced to Bomb? Perhaps we should investigate no further…


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